This is still fiction. Resemblance is still coincidence.
When I breathed in, I was sure I was in heaven. Mostly because I believed I was a faithful follower and I can't be in hell. Also because of the soft music playing in the background. But my worst fears came true when I realised the panic sounds that were becoming more and more prominent. I still felt too far away from the sounds. My body still felt like a petrificus charm was on me. But I was sure I still had a beating heart in me. I could hear it now.
I was now a regular at understanding black outs. I don't know if it was a great thing that I could think. But I guess that would be necessary for the people working to still keep me alive.
I need to confess my excitement of thinking about the idea of out body experience. I wonder if I'll have one. I had the funniest idea. Probably the least I could do to change the mood.
I don't remember being one with a funny attitude. Although I now hope I was more open to ideas and fun things. It's so strange how petty things seem now that I think about the fights that used to drive me insane. I think about them now and assure myself that there was nothing I could have done at that time. But probably I was wrong and I could have changed the things, something to make it work, something to make it better.
I realize I never said "I love you" to a lot of people. I was always so scared and now when I am, you know, like this, I feel I could have used the words more often. What bad could have happened? It always felt like my heart would explode even if I though of saying that. I remember the times I found out how despised I was and how people used to think about me - cold and distant, arrogant and self-absorbed. I died a little inside that day.
When I breathed in, I was sure I was in heaven. Mostly because I believed I was a faithful follower and I can't be in hell. Also because of the soft music playing in the background. But my worst fears came true when I realised the panic sounds that were becoming more and more prominent. I still felt too far away from the sounds. My body still felt like a petrificus charm was on me. But I was sure I still had a beating heart in me. I could hear it now.
I was now a regular at understanding black outs. I don't know if it was a great thing that I could think. But I guess that would be necessary for the people working to still keep me alive.
I need to confess my excitement of thinking about the idea of out body experience. I wonder if I'll have one. I had the funniest idea. Probably the least I could do to change the mood.
I don't remember being one with a funny attitude. Although I now hope I was more open to ideas and fun things. It's so strange how petty things seem now that I think about the fights that used to drive me insane. I think about them now and assure myself that there was nothing I could have done at that time. But probably I was wrong and I could have changed the things, something to make it work, something to make it better.
I realize I never said "I love you" to a lot of people. I was always so scared and now when I am, you know, like this, I feel I could have used the words more often. What bad could have happened? It always felt like my heart would explode even if I though of saying that. I remember the times I found out how despised I was and how people used to think about me - cold and distant, arrogant and self-absorbed. I died a little inside that day.
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